Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Where is yesterday's carpet?

Il passato è una terra straniera

Team meeting guys!

Let’s go to the breakout area …

Now, I was thinking about you all late last night, as is my wont – even outside of statutory office hours – when I asked myself: what have you – my employees – done for me lately? For example, you QT – what did you do for me yesterday? No, no, hush! – that was a rhetorical question. Let's take this opportunity to refocus. Where, for example, is yesterday? What I am getting at, is what proof can you bring me of its existence and hence your contribution to its - our - present success? Yes, yes, I know we have timesheets, what kind of arse-scratching degenerate proto-primate do you take me for? Answer me this: how do I know that those timesheets were not, along with the rest of the universe, suddenly conjured out of the thin air of nowhere this very morning? That was another rhetorical question. What do you mean: "How do I, given the logic of my chronologically skeptical supposition, know what I was thinking last night?" ... one at a time please ... When I want audience participation and a "dictionary definition" of "rhetorical" you will be given formal notice. Trust me. What I am telling you is: from now on, it is no longer good enough – metaphysically acceptable – for you to rest on yesterday’s laurels, for they are unworthy of an empiricist’s verifiable contempt. I want to know what you are doing for me right now: this very moment, as it unfurls before us like an expensive carpet, which you must continuously lay at the feet of my direction, as I walk us, in steadfast leadership, towards the shining beacon of the future over the vanishing horizon of hope. Finally, there is no “I” in team, only “@me”. Team dismissed.

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