Jungle rules

What do you do when the rage monkey is foaming at the mouth, screaming in your face and indiscriminately waving a hairy-knuckled fist full of maxed-out credit card bills and divorce and redundancy papers and you're all out of bananas and nuts and your talk of free trade and strategic philanthropy are not being given the due and reasonable consideration they surely deserve on a local, national, as well as international stage where we are all just one borderless non-entity and our edges are purely notional for taxation and debt retrieval purposes?

You talk about progressive values and consumer service choice charters and strengthening local democracy by engaging stakeholders on an inclusive basis with indeterminate references to faith groups, community leaders and the wider entrepreneurial / innovation driven / knowledge / excellence and best practice sector while avoiding any reference to human beings that does not assign them as a subset of a function integral to society as whole and, therefore, not location or purpose specific. Tough choices. Hard decisions. Freedom comes with responsibilities. We're listening; not responding in jerks. Failing that have them placed on the sex-offender and / or terrorist watch lists. Talk about collateral damage, but not casualties, as being inevitable and regretfully unavoidable. We must support the troops.

You're in Alpha-Alpha, but at this stage of induction you will be asked not talk to the hosts or guests at the barbecue. It is considered bad form.