Getting up your nose

Pop-Pop, angrily hunched like Quasimodo unfavourably singled out at a knobbly-knee contest for genetic disadvantage advantage, launched his tubby index finger and waved it accusatorily in the manner of a burnt sausage: “I'm not joking: as you'll have noticed, I'm a man with a short temper.”

“Here's a tip: by the time my temper arrives, you'll be long gone my furry-fury-faced friend” said Joe Kerr Junior deftly whittling a 2H with his boning knife - pausing only to flick tiny flints of graphite and sustainable wood source chip from his velour jacket collar.

“More to the point Pops, would you like to see my vanishing pencil trick?"