Saturday, 1 May 2010

A fair appraisal


Your quarterly appraisal.

What can I say?

You are an incontinent tectonic bowel-shattering molten-headed gimboid of a smegma; an imbecilic gimp rope dangling from the wardrobe of an unsuccessful experiment in auto-eroticism; a perforated septic bladder floating in the steaming mug of disappointment; the unsightly and unwelcome aggregation of spumescent deposits found congealed on the frayed handkerchief adhered to the lining of a professional tramp's urine stained trouser pocket; a carbuncle set atop a pustule attached to an intestinal polyp residing above a prostate tumour; a failed abortion extracted by the vacuum of emotional sterility and deposited on the doorstep of existential abandonment.

One question.

Why do you have such a negative attitude?

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