Up-lifting

As your PFI interdepartmental consultant, and executive NCO quango liaison officer, I think we can synergise and reconceptualise tax collection with "lifting". I like to think of it as "up-lifting" - wealth redistribution without the spin. Here's how it works. Busy people are busy, that's why they're busy. They don't have time to pay their taxes, look after the kids and take Johnny to oboe classes. Something has to give, that is, be taken. That's why we employ pickpockets, who we shall rehabilitate though upward notional transformation and horizontal democratic mobilisation working with the urban grain; in other words, a convenient collection agency that works with and for the community. Up-lifters. Think. Agents who reach into other people's pockets so they don't have to; saving the up-liftee's time and effort, as well streamlining their busy schedules so they can be even more economically vibrant and, therefore, more giving to our taking. More importantly. Catylisation.

In the ensuing silence, Joe Kerr Jr straightened his dickie.