It's a mystery

It's hard to describe Alpha-Alpha. He's like a sudoku puzzle, wrapped in a cryptic crossword and hidden under a thick, bushy beard - the beard is a recent addendum to his agenda. Perhaps this incident will illustrate this man-shaped mystery for you: I happened to be walking home late one night, when I spotted Alpha-Alpha, slightly ahead, just in front of me and about to cross the cinder-highway, when all of a sudden, a group of hooded desert-chavs jumped out into the path of a fast approaching hydro-tram; in the process, catching a single maddening Munchkin and cleaving him - “it” - in two. The half that wasn't dragged under the hydro-tram wheels - mainly the upper torso a la Robert Shaw's character in Jaws - was still twitching its arms by the kerbside. Alpha-Alpha promptly went up to him and stomped on his head 'till the twitching was, alas, no more. Even today, and I have pondered it oft since, I could not tell whether this was an act of compassion, albeit of the brutal "tough love" kind, or just simply a case of irritation at having his journey interrupted by such crass and craven stupidity? I guess it could have been the blood and offal staining his jacket ... the dry cleaning bill? Pointless suing.

Perhaps we'll never know.

Anyway, thanks for coming to the interview for our new Crisis Manager's Assistant position here at Unlikely Solutions Limited.

What's your name by-the-way?

Mine's Alpha-Alpha, Executive Director.

I like to stand back and look at myself sometimes.