Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Chick-Lit Lite

First chapter in progress ...

She was a woman who knew her own mind – her wants; her needs; her desires – which, on refection, was perhaps not such a cognitive achievement, given its general paucity. Muff-Muff paused, momentarily, as the hover-cab pulled up outside of the sixty-ninth floor studio flat tastefully situated in the fashionable artisan quarter of Megalomaniaopolis. Her spine tingled momentary in the neurochemical thrill of anticipation as she reminded herself that she was a modern woman living in a modern world in these exciting post-post modern times where anything was possible - even the improbable - but not the impossible.

Quickly, she grabbed her copy of Premier Balls Magazine - eligible footballers in athletic poses revealing their sensitive sides together with extenuating parts - off the coffee table to shield her luxuriant locks against the evening downpour and worried how this would affect the overall feng shui of the moment.

Delicately levering herself over the balcony with an extensive panorama of the cityscape, she lowered herself into the rear seat of the open-roof cab, careful to reveal her tactfully sheer designer-label panties to the paparazzi below.

Or so she imagined *sigh* perhaps they had lost interest?

It was her big 3-0h!

“It must be fascinating being a cabby,” she mused amusingly, “I bet you've had all sorts in the back of your cab.”

“When you say 'had' I take it you're using that term in the consensual sense?”

“Oh, you're so funny; I do enjoy that salt-of-the-earth humour, though I've no idea what you're talking about. I too am from a humble background and my father has just recently died of a fatal terminal death virus illness fatality, tragically.”

The cabby's hand hovered tentatively over the vile of rohypnol, but then he reminded himself that even he had standards.

They whizzed past a clique of several exclusive landmarks, recognisable only to those 'in the know' and dedicated tabloid celeb-fantasists.

Finally, the journey terminated at the Restaurant Majestic, with royally appointed lavish interiors and matching brocade cushions over which her best and closest stereotypically gay friend was demonstrating his hypermobility, partially facilitated by the surgical removal of his lower ribs - that and the abdominoplasty.

No comments:

Post a Comment