Monday, 28 September 2009

Byte my ass

Come in, come in. Be seated. No, no, not there – over here: come sit on my lap while I gently bounce you.


Yes, yes. That's much more comfortable, for me at least. Now ... how long have you been with us at Unlikely Solutions Ltd?

Two weeks.

Two weeks you say.

Two weeks.

Is there an echo in here?

No Sir.

No Sir, SIR.


Not nearly enough. Never mind, more importantly, how are you?

Do you mean by that locution: in what manner does my existence effectively realise itself as a manifestation within the causal realm of the physical?

My, how hugely charming and quirky you are. Let me be a tad more exacting in my interrogative mode my precious techo-dumpling: how is your work with our new DigiTeeth(TM) product proceeding – the byte-sized info-vassal large enough for even the most simple of unicellular simpletons to swallow without the need to actively chew it over (TM)?

It's going great, we've managed to engineer our clients' messages into an edible format such that when prepared, by say a microwave, transmogrifies the informational content into a nutritional analogue that, upon consumption, is digested into the blood stream and eventually transmitted to the receiver's brain centre by the simple process of osmosis; thus bypassing the need to directly engage their so-called “thinking minds” with ineffectual traditional media.

Good, good, try not to make a meal of it though.

Meal of it Sir?

My little joke my precious nerdling. What news of the suppository delivery vector variation?

It's still in developmental Sir, though I think bouncing on your knee has helped the time-release coating to dissolve quicker. Hum, I must take a note of that.

That's slightly more information than I needed and you're beginning to smell. Try not to evacuate before you leave my office.

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